I just got engaged! Now what?
First and foremost, congratulations! Take a deep breath and soak in this time as an engaged couple, because these moments pass by before you know it. If you are ready to start planning but don't know where to start, take a look at my recommended first steps below.
The FIrst three steps
pick 2 + 3
Sit down with your partner and choose 2 of these 3 parameters, as they will become your compass: 1) a quick engagement 2) a small budget 3) the bells-and-whistles. You can absolutely have any 2 of these 3 options - a quick engagement on a small budget with less bells-and-whistles, a quick engagement with all the bells-and-whistles your heart desires on a larger budget, or a small budget with plenty of time for you to arrange those desired bells-and-whistles.
Next, list out your top 3 priorities, because these will be unique to you and your partner. If you are foodies, make sure catering is in your top 3. If you are party animals, you should consider a hype DJ with a top-tier sound system high priority.
The top 3 priorities for our wedding are our venue, our photographer, and my dress!
budget
Determine together how much maximum you are willing to spend on your wedding. If your family is looking to help pay for certain aspects, make sure you get their budgets as well.
Plan to spend 50%-75% of your budget on your top three priorities. For everything else, see if you can eliminate entirely, cut costs, or get creative with DIY options to keep your spending plan within your total budget.
Theme
Having a theme will be helpful with making all kinds of decisions down the line, from your venue to decor to desserts to florals and just about everything in between! The more creative and specific you can get, the better - you will be able to give your vendors a clear idea of your vision with just a few words. A good starting point to aim for is three words.
For example, "vintage" can mean so many different things to different people. See how far you can pinpoint your ideas to actually reflect your vision: "elegant vintage garden", "moody vintage library", "rustic vintage holiday".
The theme for our wedding is "vintage summer camp with a dark twist".
next step: venue
A lot of people might think that the next step would be to pick a date, but in reality you do not have a wedding date until you have secured one with your ideal venue. It's much easier to find a perfect-fit venue and choose from the dates they have available then it is trying to find a venue you like that still has your desired date available on their calendar.
Securing a venue will also help you create a plan for the vendors you need to reserve next. Some venues are all-inclusive, and others are all DIY - most are somewhere in the middle. Definitely plan to ask your venue if a planner or day-of-coordinator is included, so you can make a decision whether or not hiring one is right for you!
What's the difference between an event planner and a day-of-coordinator? Do I need one?
An event planner will be in the trenches with you during your entire planning journey. They can help iron out contracts with your vendors, make suggestions, and brainstorm ideas to help fill out your vision as well as be there to orchestrate your big day.
As for day-of-coordinators, the term "day-of" is a bit misleading. These coordinators will want to meet you a month or two before your wedding in order to discuss your vision and help you create a timeline. They will help manage vendors, set up decor, execute the timeline and handle any issues that come up on the day of your event for you and your guests - as big as a no-show vendor and as small as your cousin needs to borrow a phone charger.
The benefit of hiring at least a day-of-coordinator is that any and all issues will go through a filter before they end up on your plate. You, your partner, your family, and your party can sit back, enjoy the day, and focus on being present in this moment before it's gone. Something goes "wrong" at every event, it's a fact of the industry. Knowing you have someone ready to make sure whatever it is is handled immediately is peace of mind that is worth considering.
I have swept up broken glass in the aisle 3 minutes before a ceremony start time, picked up travelers of coffee from Starbucks after a coffee vendor had a mechanical problem, corrected names and dates on a photo booth, and helped couples navigate an unplanned sprinkler shower, power outages, and missing DJs. The right planner or coordinator should become your spokesperson, your personal assistant, and your lifeline throughout the day.